Lose You
by katichresis
Summary: I do not own Numb3rs or the songs and lyrics i use in here. It's like a songfic compilation story. Sorta rewritten from Tabu onwards. My own sadly unreal version of what should've happened. The title is subjected to change. Anyway, R&R. Don/Liz ship.
1. My Happy Ending

Chapter One

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN NUMB3RS OR ANY OF THE SONGS I USE IN THIS COMBINED SONGFIC THING. It is going to be a more than one chapter story. Yeap. Thank you.

_Let's talk this over_

_It's not like we're dead_

_Was it something I did?_

_Was it something you said?_

"Is it my fault?" Liz turned back, looking at Don.

Don looked at her in reply, saying nothing. It made no difference anyway. They were over. As much as she didn't want it to happen, did she know somehow? Somewhere, deep in her heart, that it was never meant to last? Was it delusion on her part?

_Don't leave me hanging_

_In a city so dead_

_Held up so high_

_On such a breakable thread_

She was a strong woman. Nothing could really tear her apart. So what? It's just another break up. Yeah, sure. It was probably her first serious relationship in a long time. No matter how strong she was and still is, it was going to affect her, one way or another. She felt vulnerable. So fragile, so lonely.

_You were all the things I thought I knew_

_And I thought we could be_

She tried. She really did. She tried so hard. Maybe it was her fault. She thought she knew him. She thought she could get over his trust issues and all. She thought they could be together.

_You were everything, everything that I wanted_

_We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it_

_And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away_

_All this time you were pretending_

_So much for my happy ending_

Maybe in her mind, she had a perfect fairytale ending. But in reality, she knew it was never going to happen. She loved him. He loved her. It was _almost_ perfect. Searching for perfection in this imperfect world was never a smart thing to do. Perhaps he still loved Robin. Maybe that's why. She can't blame him. She knew it wasn't going to last. Not willingly, but she did. So much for happy endings and fairytales.

tbc.


	2. Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart

Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or this lovely song by Alicia Keys called Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart. Wooh.

_Even if you are a million miles away_

_I could still feel you in my bed_

_Near me, touch me, feel me_

It was strange. It was unusual. It was uncomfortable not having Don lying next to her on the bed. Not hearing his breathing. Not feeling his warmth. Not waking up to his caresses.

_And even at the bottom of the sea_

_I could still hear it inside my head_

_Telling me, touch me, feel me_

She dreamt of him. She missed him so much. She wanted him back. She still loved him. How could she not? She tried to forget him. It didn't work, apparently. She could still hear him in her head. She could still hear him saying to her things he didn't say anymore. Not at work of course. She was good at keeping her personal and work life separate. When she was alone at her apartment by herself, she thought of him. She heard him.

_And all the time, you were telling me lies_

It was never going to be "us". She and Don? Now as she looked back, it seemed even more unlikely. Perhaps it was a mistake all along. What a sweet mistake though. And a painful one to bear now.

_So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had_

_Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

She really needed to move on. She needed to try to forget him. Well, that wasn't very possible. They kinda worked together. Forget her love for him, maybe. Easier said than done, though. How would you forget a love like that? But regardless, she really needed to. There's not much of a choice there. Liz Warner would never let a bitter romance tear her apart. No, she won't.

_Have you ever try sleeping with a broken heart?_

_Well you could try sleeping in my bed_

_Lonely, own me, nobody ever shut it down like you_

It isn't easy. It never is. She awoke alone. The other side of her bed, cold and empty. Don was probably off with another woman or maybe back to Robin again. Liz had heard she was back again. So she had to nurse her broken heart alone and in silence. She couldn't trust people. There was no need to share anything with anyone. She needed to get through this alone.

_You wore the crown, you made my body feel heaven bound_

_Why don't you hold me, need me_

_I thought you told me, you'd never leave me_

Being with Don made her happy. She couldn't resist smiling when she was around him or thinking of him. It was heaven on earth. It was good times for her. She wish it would've lasted. He told her he wouldn't run away from another relationship. He didn't run away. But he left her.

_Looking in the sky I could see your face_

_And I knew right where I fit in_

_Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love with you_

_Right till the end_

He made her feel wanted. He made her feel safe and secure. He had her back in so many field operations. He knows that she will always love him. But she just has to push down and suppress her love for him in front of him. It isn't the same anymore. And she knows that. But she can't help herself.

_So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had_

_Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

Maybe move to a different state? Head another FBI department somewhere else? It would put her away from him for awhile, but will she really forget him? She has to find a way to make it without him. She needs to move on without him. She will make it.

_Anybody could've told you right from the start it's 'bout to fall apart_

_So rather than hold on to a broken dream or just hold on to love_

_And I could find a way to make it, don't hold on too tight_

_I'll make it without you tonight_

Was it a broken dream, a broken fantasy? She should've known it wasn't going to last long. But love? A chance at love? She'd want to hold on to that as long as she could anyway. It doesn't matter what happens. It was a good relationship. And that usually leads to bad break ups. But she'll make it. She always does.

_So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had_

_Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

And she did find a way to make it without him. She decided, running away won't resolve anything. Everything would be so much simpler and less tense if she just made it an amicable split. She let go. She let go and tried to be happy for the times they had. But could she really let go someone like that?

tbc.


	3. Already Gone

Chapter Three

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs and the song Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson. I wish I did but you can't always get what you want. ): Also, this is a somewhat rewrite of the end of Chinese Box, where Liz leaves.

Liz's P.O.V

He doesn't show it. But I know he's pretty stressed out over it. I was with him long enough to sense it. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm leaving. For a narcotics job.

_Remember all the things we wanted_

_Now all our memories they're haunted_

_We were always meant to say goodbye_

We wanted to be together forever. As cheesy as that sounds, we really did. But I guess, it wasn't meant to be. Holding on to our memories is all I can do now. We're not going to make anymore so remembering before they all disappear is all I can do.

_Even with our fists held high_

_It never would've worked out right_

_We were never meant for do or die_

We, both, have very strong characters. Stubborn and strong-willed. No one could really change our minds once we made them up. Maybe that's why it never would've worked out. Don always had my back. I know that. But our relationship? It wasn't built to last.

_I didn't want us to burn out_

_I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop_

I went over to his apartment. I'm leaving. For a few weeks maybe, but still, I felt like I had to tell him myself. I didn't want us to burn out. I really didn't. I knocked on the door. He opened it. He looked pretty terrible. He was good at ignoring it at the FBI. He and I, we could keep our personal lives and problems apart from work. I told him I was leaving. I hugged him. He didn't say anything throughout.

_I want you to know that it doesn't matter_

_Where we take this road someone's gotta go_

_And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better_

_But I want you to move on so I'm already gone_

It looked like he was taking it much harder than I was. I've moved on, I think. He didn't look like he had. He was thinking a lot about it, probably. I wanted him to know that it was alright and I was fine. And that he should be too. But I couldn't say any of these things. Nothing would come out.

_Looking at you makes it harder_

_But I know that you'll find another_

_That doesn't always make you want to cry_

I shouldn't have gone. Looking at him makes me want to stay. It makes me want to try to start all over with our relationship. And that would be a mistake. It would totally fail. I know he'll find someone else. He always does.

_Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in_

_Perfect couldn't keep this love alive_

_You know that I love you so I love you enough to let you go_

No matter how perfect it seemed at first, that wasn't enough to keep us going. We burned out like candles do. No more heat, no more love.

_I want you to know that it doesn't matter_

_Where we take this road someone's gotta go_

_And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better_

_But I want you to move on so I'm already gone_

It was good enough. I wish it'd lasted but hey, it's better than nothing. It was good times. He loved me enough. But we all have to move on eventually. He should too.

_I'm already gone, already gone_

_You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong_

_I'm already gone, already gone_

_There's no moving on so I'm already gone_

I wanted to tell him before I left that it wasn't his fault. His trust issues should've been something I foreseen. He couldn't do anything differently. If we'd carried on, neither of us would've been happy, I'd think.

_Already gone, already gone, already gone_

_Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah_

In a plane, I can't help thinking, can i?

_Remember all the things we wanted_

_Now all our memories they're haunted_

_We were always meant to say goodbye_

Do you remember the times we spent together? Do you remember all the things you said to me? Do you remember what we wanted together? It doesn't matter now though. It's all gone.

_I want you to know that it doesn't matter_

_Where we take this road someone's gotta go_

_And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better_

_But I want you to move on so I'm already gone_

But you tried and I did too. So we couldn't have done anything that much differently right? I want you to move on like I have. Maybe a few weeks of not seeing me will help you, yes?

_I'm already gone, already gone_

_You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong_

_I'm already gone, already gone_

_There's no moving on so I'm already gone_

I let go. He should too.

tbc.

**A/N:** Does it link? I'm not sure. R&R please?


	4. Need You Now

Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Numb3rs and the song Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. You know the drill. It is a great song. (:

Don's P.O.V

Time passes so quickly. Liz is back. And so is Robin. Robin and I are kinda back together but…I still think about Liz. How's she holding up and stuff. It's so weird not being around her as much as I used to.

_Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor_

_Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore_

_And I wonder if I ever crossed your mind_

_For me it happens all the time_

How can I forget her smile? How can I forget what she and I had together? I wonder if she still thinks about me like I do. I miss her sometimes. I feel bad about it 'cause I'm with Robin. It's like I'm cheating on Robin but really…I just miss her. I get my phone. I don't know if I should call her at all, but I do anyway.

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now_

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now_

She picks up and I don't know what to say. The first thing that comes out of my mouth is that I'm sorry. And I am, really. I need you, I tell her. She doesn't say anything. I tell her it was my fault. I apologize again. I told her I wouldn't call but I had to. I felt as if I had to.

_Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door_

_Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before_

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind_

_For me it happens all the time_

I still wonder if she thinks of me. I tell her that I think about her all the time. I want the times we spent together back. I want her back. I need her.

_It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now_

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now_

She asks me if I've been drinking. I told her I took a couple of drinks but I'm clear-headed enough to know what I'm doing. And I want her back. I need her back. I tell her, I don't know how I can do without her. I can't. It's not the same with Robin. It just isn't.

_Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all_

It hurts her. She probably tried so hard to forget us. I did too. But I need her. I don't want everything we had to disappear just like that. I'd rather hurt and get back with her.

_It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now_

_And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now_

I tell her that I'm willing to try again. I'm hoping she will too. I ask her to forgive me. I ask her to start over with me. I ask her to consider it. Because I can't do without her and I need her.

_I just need you now_

_Oh, baby, I need you now_

I still love you, I say before I put down the phone.

tbc.

**A/N:** Constructive criticism please? I could probably imagine Don in my head like that but does it seem a little OOC to you? Oh and is the previous chapter a little OOC too? R&R! Sorry if it's kinda short. I'll try to make up for it.


	5. Broken Strings

Chapter Five

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Numb3rs or the song Broken Strings by James Morrison ft. Nelly Furtado. (:

Liz's P.O.V

_Let me hold you__, for the last time_

_It's the last chance to feel again_

_But you broke me, now I can't feel anything_

Holding him now, it felt different. It scared me. Were we really broken to that extent? What had changed? I didn't know. I wanted to feel him again. One last time, maybe.

_When I love you, i__t's so untrue_

_I can't even convince myself_

_When I'm speaking, i__t's the voice of someone else_

I told myself I wanted to try again. But did I, really? I don't even know the answer. It's like, I'm so messed up that I don't even know what I want.

_Oh__, it tears me up_

_I tried to hold on but it hurts too much_

_I tried to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay_

Why did he have to call? I was fine, I was dealing. And now, I hurt all over again. I don't what to do. I really don't. It's not his fault but he wants me back and I don't know if I want him back. I tell myself, of course I do. But then, my heart tells me something else.

_You can't play our broken strings_

_You can't feel anything, that your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real_

So I tell him no and that I am sorry too. But I can't lie. I'm not ready yet. Not yet. We need time apart, I think.

_Oh__, the truth hurts and lies worse_

_How can I give__ anymore?_

_When__ I love you a little less than before_

The truth hurts. Lies hold up for awhile. Then it hurts more. I tell him that I don't know how I feel now. About him, about us. How can I make our relationship work now when I'm kinda in a mess?

_Oh__, what are we doing?_

_We are turning into dust, p__laying house in the ruins of us_

Oh, but he puts his arms around me and I forget everything. He kisses me on my forehead and my head spins. What are we doing now, I think. Oh, we're playing with fire. Again. Mistake, mistake.

_Running back through the fire, w__hen there's nothing left to say_

_It's like chasing the very last train, when it's too late_

It felt so good. Being with him made me forget how I was feeling and thinking. Is that really love? It feels like we're trying again but perhaps, in a third person point of view. I really don't know.

_Oh__, it tears me up_

_I tried to hold on but it hurts too much_

_I tried to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay_

It's not enough to make everything all right again. It's not enough to start over, I'd think. It hurts so much just thinking about it. It breaks me apart. It's like an addiction I need to get over but I can't.

_You can't play our broken strings_

_You can't feel anything, t__hat your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real_

We can't force something to work when it can't. I can't tell him to believe something I can't even convince myself to believe. I can't feel something that my heart doesn't want to feel. Oh, I don't know what I can do.

_Oh__, the truth hurts and lies worse_

_How can I give __anymore?_

_When__ I love you a little less than before_

_Let me hold you for the last time__, it's the last chance to feel again._

Oh baby, maybe just one last time 'cause I can't stop myself. It's not a relationship but it's our last chance. And I'm sorry.

tbc.

**A/N:** Oh gosh. This one was practically forced out of me. Had a major writer's block. I apologize for it's not linking or whatever. Today was an extremely bad day for writing. My goodness. Will attempt to make it up tomorrow. Eeeek.


	6. Unthinkable I'm Ready

**Chapter Six**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Unthinkable (I'm Ready) by Alicia Keys. That belongs to her. And I like it that way. I don't own Numb3rs. This is for entertainment purposes. Yes. Thank you for your time.

It's been weeks. Things were slightly awkward between them. Robin was back in the picture and Liz was just…out of place. There was no other way to describe it. There was a sense of tension all the time. Like maybe, someone would snap…or not. It was just this strange strange feeling.

Liz didn't feel like she should interfere now that Robin was back. After their break-up, she had always thought that maybe she was nothing but a rebound from Robin and Don's break-up. Insecurities and doubt made her not do anything about the relationship before her eyes.

Don knew that being with Robin meant he had to completely lose all feelings for Liz because it wouldn't be fair to Robin if he didn't. He didn't want to cheat on Robin yet he didn't want to lose Liz. It's a dillema. Caught between two gorgeous women. But which one did he actually love? That was the question.

They needed to talk alone. They needed to spend some time together and sort this thing out. To let go or to carry on. Either way, it would be breaking someone's heart. And this opportunity came about when Robin left for a few days to Pasadena for a meeting.

Liz was working late. She had to do up this report and hand it over to Don. When she was finally done, she discovered that he had not left yet. He was still at his desk, sitting and reading or something. No one else was there so it was awkward.

"Here's your report." She said as she dropped it on his desk.

"Thanks." He said, looking up at her.

She turned to leave, but he called her back.

"Hey Liz. You free tonight?" he asked.

She turned around. "Yeah… I am now."

He got up. "Let's go for a drink. We have to talk too."

She silently agreed. She grabbed her coat and they left together.

_Moment of honesty_

_Someone's gotta take the lead tonight_

_Who's it gonna be?_

_I'm gonna sit right here_

_And tell you while it comes to me_

_If you have something to say_

_You should say it right now_

"You wanted to talk. Talk." She said, half-smiling.

"I'm sorry everything's been pretty messed up and really awkward." He said.

"Huh. You got that right." She replied and drank some beer.

"Let's straighten some things up tonight, 'kay?" he said. She didn't reply so he continued. "I love you. You know I do. I spent a long time thinking about it and I'm pretty sure I'm right. I _like_ Robin. But I love you. And I hope we can get another chance."

She was silent. Inwardly, she agreed with him. She loved him too. She wanted another chance too. But then what's holding her back? Fear?

_You give me a feeling that I never felt before_

_And I deserve it, I think I deserve it_

_It's become something that's impossible to ignore_

_And I can't take it_

_I was wondering maybe_

_Could I make you my baby_

When she's with him, she feels emotional. And she's learnt to detach emotions from her work. But when he comes, all of that just goes out the window. The feeling he gives her, it's so addictive. It's familiar and she enjoys it.

It's been so hard and difficult to ignore the feelings she has for him. And she's been thinking of asking him whether they wanted to try again, but it's just crazy, isn't it? But she can't take it anymore.

_If we do the unthinkable will it make us look crazy_

_If you ask me I'm ready_

_If you ask me I'm ready_

Don was looking slightly worried because she kept silent throughout his whole "confession". But he was immediately relieved when she finally smiled at him. The first real smile, that he had grown to love, since they broke up.

"I've been thinking hard and long too, y'know. You don't know how much I wanted to just come back to you. It's just difficult. And I wasn't sure if you wanted me anymore." She replied.

"I don't want you. I need you."

And that's all he actually needed to say because it was all she wanted to hear.

_I know you said to me_

_"This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be."_

_Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually_

_If we gonna do something about it_

_We should do it right now_

They went back to his place. They were slightly drunk. But still knew what they wanted to do.

Her back was against his apartment door, as he fumbled for the keys. He found them and they went in. Now she was against the wall, the heat building up as they kissed passionately. It felt right. And they knew what they were gonna do.

"What about Robin?" she asked, breathlessly.

"I don't know. But we'll get through it." He replied, almost equally out of breath.

_You give me a feeling that I never felt before_

_And I deserve it, I know I deserve it_

_It's become something that's impossible to ignore_

_It's what we make it_

_I was wondering maybe_

_Could I make you my baby_

_If we do the unthinkable will it make us look crazy_

_Or would it be so beautiful either way I'm sayin'_

_If you ask me I'm ready_

_If you ask me I'm ready_

They were burning up.

A/N: HELLO! Sorry this one took so long. I was busy, changed computers and had no inspiration to write but i did! Yay! R&R. Reviews are always love.


	7. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

Chapter 7

**Disclaimer**: Don't own song, Slow Dancing in a Burning room – John Mayer. Don't own Numb3rs. I like it to remain that way. You know the drill. (:

**Don's P.O.V**

_It's not a silly little moment,_

_It's not the storm before the calm._

_This is the deep and dying breath of_

_This love that we've been working on._

We jumped into it too fast. It was too soon after my break up with Liz. I should've given it a break. I should've thought about the possibility that Liz and I would get back together. But I was so drawn to her again. And we continued our relationship, trying to rebuild it but it didn't work.

_Can't seem to hold you like I want to_

_So I can feel you in my arms._

_Nobody's gonna come and save you,_

_We pulled too many false alarms._

It felt different. It felt like I was cheating on Liz. Even though we weren't together at that time. It felt different when I embraced her. I didn't get the feeling I got when I was with Liz. And that wasn't how I wanted it.

_We're going down,_

_And you can see it too._

_We're going down,_

_And you know that we're doomed._

_My dear,_

_We're slow dancing in a burning room._

She knew. She knew my heart wasn't with her. She could see it. And when she got back from Pasadena, she knew something had changed. She saw us drifting apart. She could feel it. We were just pretending and taking it slow. We tried to ignore it. But it doesn't work that way.

_I was the one you always dreamed of,_

_You were the one I tried to draw._

_How dare you say it's nothing to me?_

_Baby, you're the only light I ever saw._

We fought. She said that it was nothing to me. She said I never cared. She said I never really loved her. Inwardly, I understood why she would be angry but I did love her. Once. She showed me how much I could care.

_I'll make the most of all the sadness,_

_You'll be a bitch because you can._

_You try to hit me just to hurt me_

_So you leave me feeling dirty_

_Because you can't understand._

She can't understand. She won't understand even if I tried to explain it to her. I know it wasn't fair to her. But she doesn't need to be all unreasonable. It's not fair but it was mostly my fault. I really shouldn't have rushed to continue a relationship with her. It wasn't fair to her and it wasn't right for me.

_Go cry about it - why don't you?_

_Go cry about it - why don't you?_

_Go cry about it - why don't you?_

Although I felt sorry, I did want to be with Liz and nothing would change that.

_Don't you think we oughta know by now?_

_Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?_

I should've learned from the past.

At least, now I am. I know I won't do that to Liz, if anything. I am sorry to see Robin go but what other choice do I have?

**A/N**: Yuck. I'm sorry. Reviews? I personally don't really like the chapter, but I thought it would help with the flow of the story, in general. Will be busy from this week onwards. Sorry!


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